When I was a teenager, the best display at my school science exhibition was that of a wind turbine model. Now a days Teens do amazing things - they have built working models of cars, planes, created bio-plastic from banana peels, written hundreds of mobile apps etc. Their access to information, ideas, images and sounds is unimaginably huge and is without any precedent.
Yet it appears, Teens are doing 2 things simultaneously - they are growing up way too fast on one hand and on another they are not growing up at all. The tween to teen transition seems to equally tough on the parent and the Teen. The sweet child who would cuddle on my arms and hang around family members is undergoing changes both cognitively and behaviourally. There are several changes that a parent of a Teen can list - for example the increase in bbming, texting, surfing and calling friends is equally compensated by his/her decreased communication with family members.
I think the point here is that we, the people around the Teen (as parents, teachers, neighbours, friends) do not change our behavior towards them. This is because Teens still depend a great deal on family and friend in spite of their assertion for independence. Though they appear to have become less caring and less communicative, we should strive to understand them and talk to them as much as possible. Often, the reason for their angst is imprudent and is of miniscule significance in the vast landscape of life that beckons them ahead. Yet these small issues appear as larger than life problems in front of them. It will be easier if we acknowledge the concern as they visualize it (and not to write it off with our experience), listen and provide guidance in a manner their mind can make sense of it. The crux obviously is to talk and to gain their confidence.
Neurologists say the assertion and moodiness of teenagers is apparently due to their developing brain cells which are slightly out of sync. "The brakes become functional somewhat later than the accelerator" - Apparently the limbic system (the emotional seat of the brain) develops faster than the prefrontal cortex (rational seat) and the brain can be out of sync for up to 5 years during the teen years.
As a parent, teacher or friend - the cognizance that the tough exterior a Teen portrays is a wrap over a very vulnerable, sensitive inner self may help us provide the right support. Towards building a strong sense of self confidence and righteousness in the Teen as they transform into becoming future citizens of the world.
There is an interesting connect with Vedanta on the above subject - comforting the distressed and the "student" in particular has been acknowledged as one of the Panchamaha Yagnas (5 Selfless Services) in Vedanta. Perhaps the plight of a Teen/ Student has not changed much over the course of 5000 years!
1. Bhoota-Yagna - This is the service to the plants, trees, birds, animals, insects and the environment by and large. Watering trees, providing food to birds and animals and being kind to them is a noble service recognized as a maha (great) Yagna (service).
2. Manusha-Yagna - Service to humanity and society is a great service and is the only way to distribute happiness and wealth to others. It is said that one should spend a part of his earnings in charity and social service. Service to the poor and needy, comforting distressed people and students have a special reference here.
3. Brahma-Yagna - Learning scriptures, understanding and practicing the stated and teaching others.
4. Pitr-Yagna - Prayers to parents, forefathers and ancestors as they are the reasons for a person's existence. Taking good care of parents and elders has a special reference here.
5. Deva-Yagna - Any form of worship for inner purification, could be meditation, praying etc.
It is said that by performing the Panchamaha Yagnas (5 Selfless Services) every day, we will develop kindness, hatred/selfishness will vanish and the egoistic heart will soften and we will have a wider perspective of life.
Cheers
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