FIR (Frequency Intensity and Recovery time)

I received a call from a close friend recently, "I want to talk to you" he said. Being a friend of several years I knew him very well - "So you had a bad day at work?" 

We went out for a coffee. He went about explaining an incident and how he had lost patience and had shouted at this superior. He repeated “it is unfair", "it is unfair" at least a dozen times in 20 minutes. I listened uninterruptedly. 

I told him, "it's ok, getting upset is a part of life".

It was like rubbing salt I guess, his voice even more agitated, "So you want me to stomach injustice?”.

I told him firmly, "No, I don’t want you to stomach injustice". That is not the message. Popular slokas, (Yada Yada hi Dharmasya, Paritraanaya Sadhunaam) talk about protecting dharma and fighting injustice. 

There are 3 responses for every upsetting situation,  Reaction or Inaction or Action

Reaction: To react instantaneously and impulsively with anger is not a wise option. Anger by nature causes more harm than good to the person.

krodhaadbhavati sammohah sammohaatsmritivibhramah |

smritibhramshaadbuddhinaasho buddhinaashaatpranashyati ||

From anger comes delusion; from delusion, confused memory; from confused memory the ruin of reason; from ruin of reason, man finally perishes.

Inaction: To be inactive (passive) is also not the right option. 

sukhaduhkhe same kritvaa laabhaalaabhau jayaajayau |
tato yuddhaaya yujyasva naivam papamavapsyasi ||

Treat joy or sorrow, gain or loss, victory or defeat with equanimity, and then engage in appropriate Action. By doing so, you will not incur sin.

Action: Reaction/Inaction are not appropriate choices. Action is needed, however, an action that has been well thought and thorough.

I quote Thirukural here - a scripture more than 2000 years old which is a golden source of wisdom. Each couplet conveys the complete message in 7 words precisely.

Kural 490

கொக்கொக்க கூம்பும் பருவத்து மற்றதன்

குத்தொக்க சீர்த்த இடத்து

As heron stands with folded wing, so wait in waiting hour;
As heron snaps its prey, when fortune smiles, put forth your power.

The day is raft with events and situations that will make us upset. It is natural to get upset. But to realise that we are upset, and to respond appropriately will yield success. With deliberation, we can work towards reducing the FIR of getting upset - the Frequency of getting upset, the Intensity of getting upset and the Recovery time from an upsetting situation. 

So my friend, there is no need to stomach injustice, respond appropriately with a bit of patience and thinking. Reacting in anger will not be favourable to you. 

Adieu