FIR (Frequency Intensity and Recovery time)

I received a call from a close friend recently, "I want to talk to you" he said. Being a friend of several years I knew him very well - "So you had a bad day at work?" 

We went out for a coffee. He went about explaining an incident and how he had lost patience and had shouted at this superior. He repeated “it is unfair", "it is unfair" at least a dozen times in 20 minutes. I listened uninterruptedly. 

I told him, "it's ok, getting upset is a part of life".

It was like rubbing salt I guess, his voice even more agitated, "So you want me to stomach injustice?”.

I told him firmly, "No, I don’t want you to stomach injustice". That is not the message. Popular slokas, (Yada Yada hi Dharmasya, Paritraanaya Sadhunaam) talk about protecting dharma and fighting injustice. 

There are 3 responses for every upsetting situation,  Reaction or Inaction or Action

Reaction: To react instantaneously and impulsively with anger is not a wise option. Anger by nature causes more harm than good to the person.

krodhaadbhavati sammohah sammohaatsmritivibhramah |

smritibhramshaadbuddhinaasho buddhinaashaatpranashyati ||

From anger comes delusion; from delusion, confused memory; from confused memory the ruin of reason; from ruin of reason, man finally perishes.

Inaction: To be inactive (passive) is also not the right option. 

sukhaduhkhe same kritvaa laabhaalaabhau jayaajayau |
tato yuddhaaya yujyasva naivam papamavapsyasi ||

Treat joy or sorrow, gain or loss, victory or defeat with equanimity, and then engage in appropriate Action. By doing so, you will not incur sin.

Action: Reaction/Inaction are not appropriate choices. Action is needed, however, an action that has been well thought and thorough.

I quote Thirukural here - a scripture more than 2000 years old which is a golden source of wisdom. Each couplet conveys the complete message in 7 words precisely.

Kural 490

கொக்கொக்க கூம்பும் பருவத்து மற்றதன்

குத்தொக்க சீர்த்த இடத்து

As heron stands with folded wing, so wait in waiting hour;
As heron snaps its prey, when fortune smiles, put forth your power.

The day is raft with events and situations that will make us upset. It is natural to get upset. But to realise that we are upset, and to respond appropriately will yield success. With deliberation, we can work towards reducing the FIR of getting upset - the Frequency of getting upset, the Intensity of getting upset and the Recovery time from an upsetting situation. 

So my friend, there is no need to stomach injustice, respond appropriately with a bit of patience and thinking. Reacting in anger will not be favourable to you. 

Adieu

Daanam

To understand the correct essence of Gita and other Vedantic scriptures, the teachings of a competent Guru is required.

After the maturity of mind (ChittaSudhhi) is increased from Karma yoga (simple definition of Karma yoga is, to do our daily activities based on dharma without questioning the results); the next step up the spiritual ladder is Shravanam. I have dealt with Shravanam in one of the earlier blogs - Shravanam simply put is the "Systematic and consistent study of vedantic scriptures (for a lengthy period of time) under the guidance of a competent Guru". 

To get a good Guru is one of the biggest blessings in this time and age, as in today's world there are so many fake ones.

Having said that, the 17th chapter of the Gita is something that we can read and comprehend without much difficulty. And unlike other chapters, the chances of mis-interpreting these slokas are minimal.

This chapter is not just the easiest to follow, it is one of the significant ones that can be applied to practice in everyday life. It deals with Yagna (sacrifice), Tapas (austerity) and Daana (charity) in a manner that can be adopted in daily lives.

Just a couple of them for illustrating the significance of these slokas, slokas 8 to 22 have many more such messages.

This one below depicts the austerity of speech (Vak Tapas)

anudvega-karam vakyam
satyam priya-hitam ca yat
svadhyayabhyasanam caiva
van-mayam tapa ucyate

Austerity of speech consists in speaking words that are truthful, pleasing, beneficial, and not agitating to others, and also in regularly reciting scriptures.

It's interesting to note that Satyam (Truth of speech) has been given a higher order than Priyam (Pleasingness of speech). I find this useful particularly when you are faced in a situation (at office most probably) where you need to convey a truth that is not so pleasing!

datavyam iti yad danam
diyate 'nupakarine
dese kale ca patre ca
tad danam sattvikam smrtam

Daanam (Charity) given without expectation of any returns, at the proper time and place, and to a worthy person is considered to be Saatvik - the highest form of goodness.

yat tu Pratyupakarartham

phalam uddisya va punah

diyate ca pariklistam

tad danam rajasam smrtam

Charity performed with the expectation of some return (such as Punya or heaven), or with a desire for fruitive results, or in a grudging mood, is said to be charity to be Raajasik or mode of passion.

And to conclude the third form of Charity (Tamasik or mode of ignorance) is where charity is performed out of fear or force without giving proper attention to the worthiness of person, time and place.

To note here, Tamasik Charity is good enough and is much better than No Charity at all !

However good enough is not as good as Best- hence we should strive for Saatvikness in all our deeds including Charity.

Cheers

Fate and Fatalism

Honesty is the richest legacy - I was reading a book by Sudha murthy and could connect with several of her observations. She has written a small story on Honesty, which I read out aloud to my son. (Just to give you a background of the situation, he was studying for his exams and I had taken time off to be just with him; do absolutely nothing; but to be around him during the stressful time of exams). He suddenly asked me a question, 'Mama, is everything already pre-destined? should I really work so hard?, some of my friends are so lucky that they get questions from only what they study'

Thirukural 619

Transliteration(Tamil to English)

Theyvaththaan aakaa theninum muyarchidhan; 

meyvaruththak kooli tharum

Though fate-divine should make your labour vain; 

Effort its labour's sure reward will gain.

This was my immediate response to his innocuous question. That one can defeat fate through hard work, and that the more he studies thoroughly the chances of him getting good results are higher, etc.. I guess this is the usual stuff a parent would tell a son.

Later I tried reading a few scriptures on this subject - till date I have not found any question related to self knowledge unanswered in the scriptures.

The concept of Fate and Fatalism.

I will try to summarise :-) what is quoted in the Chandhogya upanishad in a manner that will make sense. As per the Law of karma, we produce results due to our actions. So all results are produced by our own action only, solely. So if people are lucky or unlucky this is due to his or her own actions. That's quite reassuring to know, that there is no force out there that is partial to one over another.

Anyways there seems to be a huge caveat here....

The principles of Sanchita, Prarabdha and Agami: Human-beings have freewill. Hence in a given situation, two people can react differently which can be totally opposite. This freewill causes actions. Actions are the cause of Karma.

Basically there are three kinds of Karma. They are called Sanchita (the accumulated karmas), Prarabdha (the current karmas), and Agami (the expected karmas). Sanchita constitutes all the accumulated Karmas of past lifetimes of an individual.

Prarabdha (which is a part of Sanchita) is for the present life. Prarabdha explains the differences between humans - right from the time of birth - being born rich or poor, healthy or with congenital issues etc, being lucky, unlucky etc. 
Apparently, if the results of an action can be fructified in the current life due to a conducive environment, it will happen. Else this karma will move to Sanchita which will be effected in a future life. Conducive is defined as an environment that will also befit the karma of people surrounding the person - wife, children etc. (example given here is that the adharmic action of a husband cannot fructify immediately if the wife is very dharmic and vice-versa as the lives are related). Such karma moves to Sanchita without fructification in the current life.

As per law of karma, To be lucky now and in the future the only way is to lead a dharmic life (a life of righteousness).

Bye, until we meet again.

Hail Chennai!

I happened to be in Chennai during the floods. As the rains poured incessantly, the neighbors got together and most of them narrated stories on  floods they had experienced before, however all of them unequivocally agreed that they had never ever witnessed anything like this before. One of them, an aunt who knows me since I was a child said,'why did you choose this time to come here?, wrong time!'

Wrong time? I wondered. I understood what she meant, she knew that the place I now live, there is hardly any power cut. On the contrary there was no power there for 3 days. I remembered Mark Zuckerberg's comments - "connectivity is the birth right of humans". In that context, all Chennaites had lost their birth right for more than 3 days - no mobile or phone, no TV, no internet.
There was knee deep water everywhere and her comment was apt - couldn't I have chosen some other time to visit Chennai?
Despite all this - I consider myself to be very fortunate to have been in Chennai during the floods.

Going through a calamity gives you a learning that is most valuable. I have never seen the family so closely knit and herded before. I have never heard so many funny school stories from my teenager nieces ever before. I have never had the opportunity to bind so closely withe my brother and dad before, after many years we caught up on many stories from childhood sitting around candle light. This was surely a thumps up on building family ties.

I have always witnessed Chennai as a very busy city. People are quite friendly but quite busy - they do not have much time to spare - school, office, jogging, dance class, Carnatic music, quiz class, tuition etc. etc. Kids and parents are constantly busy doing lot more - at least this is my impression. During this calamity, I saw the humane and generous side of Chennai. I saw young college students wading through water and asking each and every house if they needed any supplies - they had drinking water, milk, candles, one person even had a power bank which he had managed to charge from a car. This gave life to a few mobiles.

The area we stayed was not so very affected compared to a few other areas, so if you manage to wade through the street and reach a house, you are in safe zone. I saw one of my very orthodox neighbours invite many strangers into his house. I saw him attending to people of all caste, creed and age with a lot of happiness. He along with his wife cooked and fed many people all the three days. This had a positive effect which was infectious, several of us were on the roads providing supplies, blankets and sarees to the affected people. I had never seen so much of networking between strangers ever before.

As somebody wisely said, going through a calamity makes you reflect about your good fortune. It makes one realise that whatever we  hold valuable is after all perishable and of no use at the end.

Finally what stands good is our help and service to fellow human beings who are in need.

The Katha updanishad is one of the most beautiful updanishads that deal with this concept, Live for today, but see life from the eyes of death - from the eyes of Mithya (that which perishes)!

Chennai will arise, there's no doubt about this. Having witnessed the spirit first handed, it not difficult to predict that this ancient city of great history and culture will arise like a phoenix with even more resolution. Hail Chennai!

Blissful Happiness!

I was watching a TV program recently where a 'Guru' was explaining about how he attained 'enlightenment'.  According to him, he had sat upon a hill one day and suddenly had a very strange indescribable feeling. This he explained was attaining 'enlightenment'.  He explained how this enlightenment had transformed him from being a hip-hop western minded individual into a 'Guru'.

What he mentioned sounded like some special powers descended upon him on that day, and then on wards, he became eternally wise and worthy of preaching ignorant people and guiding them out of their miseries.

What was more interesting was the sheer number of people who surrounded him. They listened to his words intently with awe and attention. There were probably thousands of them, all of them with folded hands and utmost reverence.

This brought about a question, Why were there so many people around him? What were they seeking? What really attracted them to this man?

The simple answer to this question should be 'Happiness' - right?; Every human being on the earth is on an eternal search - of happiness. 

If we look at it carefully, the main reason for human suffering and human grief is Self-ignorance. The only solution to be Happy is to understand more about one's own self and to gain Self-knowledge. Where exactly is this happiness? Is happiness inwards i.e in our own nature ? or is it something that can be dervied from external circumstances?

And how does one obtain Self knowledge? Can deep contemplation on questions such as Who am I? why do I exist? help get us this knowledge. May be.

Here is a simpler suggestion. There are very good spiritual scriptures already available. Taking some time and doing a systematic study of these scriptures helps. I'm not proposing one religious scripture over another. I believe all religious scriptures fundamentally preach the same thing - to find peace within yourself.

Let me give you an example, this quote is from the Gita, (chapter 6, verse 5)

uddharedaatmanaatmaanam naatmaanamavasaadayeth |

aatmaiva hyaatmano bandhuraatmaiva ripuraatmanah ||

This means, Let a man raise himself by his own efforts. Let him not degrade himself.

Because a person’s best friend or his worst enemy is none other than his own self.

This verse talks about how one should never entertain self - diffidence, never be too self-critical, never to be pessimistic. As man has freewill, freewill will contribute to actions, and the actions determine happiness. The body-mind-intellect complex of a human being is the ultimate toolkit of man. The kato-upanishad talks about how the mind is the steering of the vehicle, the intellect is the driver and the wheels of the vehicle are our sense organs. To be healthy, all these need to be well coordinated. Parents, teachers, well-wishers and God even can help only those people who help themselves. Once we realise that we are in full control of our state of mind and our own happiness, there will be eternal happiness, eternal peace with oneself.

Most of these scriptures are very obscure. These writings have a literal meaning and an esoteric, inner deep meaning. A person who can help you understand these scriptures is whom I call a "Guru". Self knowledge comes from reading scriptures (Shravanam), understanding them rightly (Mananam) and assimilating the knowledge internally (Nididhyasanam). And finally putting the assimilated knowledge into practice in the daily walk of life.

There is no short cut to gaining Self-knowledge. Enlightenment or awakening does not descend from the sky, it happens after a systematic and rigorous Shravanam-Mananam and Nidhidhyasanam.  Other forms of sadhanas such as chanting, prayers or even meditation only aid the process, these cannot produce knowledge. Meditation for example helps assimilating knowledge, however knowledge itself needs to be acquired first. There is no other way to attaining happiness in the world - other than to realize that you are yourself the true blissful happiness! 

Amygdala hijack

Last evening I witnessed a scene of road rage. Unmindful of the line of cars that was building behind his car; the driver got off his car at the middle of the road and started yelling at another driver. 

On another occasion; the four year old daughter of my friend dropped a cup of ice-cream at a birthday party. Though it appeared to be a little inadvertent mistake by the child, the mother reprimanded the child in front of the guests. 

I wondered if such strong reactions were necessary and what triggered such emotional reactions. The closest explanation that I could get is what is termed an "Amygdala hijack". The usual signs of this hijack are that the person exhibits anger, irrational or explosive behaviour. It is said people (like what my friend did) reflect after the incident with "I realise it was inappropriate" or "I overreacted" or "I don't know what came over me". 

So - why do people react differently to similar situations? 

Famous examples of Amygdala hijacks are Mike Tyson’s action of biting his opponent’s ear off (which cost him $3 million fine) and recently Luis Suarez's action at the FIFA 2014.

The Amygdala is a small part of the brain which controls response to a situation. It controls reactions and when not regulated can result in irrational behaviour. The good news here is that the amygdala can be trained and the behaviour can be regulated. It is our choice on how we react to a stimulus. This is possible to learn, however not easy and a person needs to put concerted effort and be sincere in developing the behaviour.

It is said emotions define a person. Emotions shape a man's destiny and define the way he perceives life. With due attention we can change our lives for the better. This subject is dealt elaborately in organisational behavioural studies. We often hear about EQ and about how a person with higher EQ succeeds in an organisation. Though it appears that this research is recent, it can be seen that ancient philosophy deals with this subject more extensively and more holistically.

Going beyond having a successful career, these texts impart knowledge on how to have a balanced, peaceful and meaningful life. There are several verses which deal with emotions in the Bhagvad Geeta, and the second chapter is full of wealth on information on this matter. I have picked the following three verses, however if you are interested go through more verses from the chapter. As these verses are multi-meaningful, it will be better that a good Guru explains the subtleties of these verses.

  

dhyayato visayan pumsah

sangas tesupajayate

sangat sanjayate kamah

kamat krodho 'bhijayate

When contemplating on objects, a person develops attachment to them. From attachment a longing or desire develops, and from the longing, anger grows.

krodhad bhavati sammohah

sammohat smrti-vibhramah

smrti-bhramsad buddhi-naso

buddhi-nasat pranasyati

From anger comes delusion; from delusion the bewilderment of memory; the bewilderment of memory causes destruction of discrimination/intelligence; and from the destruction of discrimination the person perishes (spiritually).

There is another verse which sums up EQ very well:

Yaḿ hi na vyathayanty ete

puruṣaḿ puruṣarṣabha

sama-duḥkha-sukhaḿ dhīraḿ

so 'mṛtatvāya kalpate

The person who is not disturbed by happiness and distress; and is steady in both is certainly liberated.

Acquiring the knowledge from the scriptures is the first step, however assimilating the same, breaking old habits and practicing in life needs real effort. This is easier said than done and will come with practice just like what the EQ experts say.

Cheers

Food; Waste Not

It’s wonderful when kids start teaching parents. That’s what happened when I was about to throw a worn-out apple from the fridge. “Mom, why do you stock more than what we can eat? Do you know by throwing that apple away, you are throwing away 5 buckets of water?” There it was – the moment – the moment to pause and think - I absolutely love these moments that helps me pause mundane stuff and reflect and admire about life and its dichotomies.

We had a potluck dinner at office recently. It was a lovely event with many awesome mouth-watering dishes. Great hidden talent was exposed. We thoroughly enjoyed the dinner and in spite of all of us overeating, it is no exaggeration that we wasted more than half the food that day.
This supports the hundreds of report on food waste, which highlights that more than half of all the food produced in the world is wasted. It is said that the food wasted by a few rich countries is enough to feed the entire population of poor countries. The effect is not just financial, the wastage of water, pesticides used, the fuel used for transportation and the methane gas produced from the waste all makes our contribution towards wasting food not a very Green proposition.

So why do we waste food – I think this is simple – man from times immemorial is a stockist and has a very risk averse, hoarding attitude. It is said that our anthropology is also based on hoarding food. So even during the days of plenty – we will always produce more food, cook more food and more importantly eat more than what is required. The other side of the coin is Overeating. Overeating and Wastage is due to our hoarding attitude, both are injurious to ourselves and to the society.

I enjoyed reading the “Share my dabba” initiative by the dabbawalas of Mumbai. A Havard case study and certified Six sigma by Forbes, this network of people who deliver lunchboxes have come up with a brilliant way to save food every day. This food delivered through this network is to around 200 thousand people and around 120 tonnes every day. Through a small sticker called “Share”, they hope more than 16 tonnes of food can be saved, and more importantly reach the plate of the hungry!

Going back to my favourite poet Thiruvalluvar who quotes “Food and exercise – if excessive or insufficient is the mother of all root causes for Disease”

Marundhena Ventaavaam Yaakkaikku Arundhiyadhu
Atradhu Potri Unin

Simply put, A person will not be diseased, who eats only after what he has already eaten is fully digested (hence he will not need any medicine).

Atradhu Arindhu Kataippitiththu Maaralla
Thuykka Thuvarap Pasiththu

Knowing the food digested well, when hunger prompteth thee,
With constant care, the viands choose that well agree.

I would like to end by quoting Chetan Bhagat here – “Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up?
We are people, not programmed devices.....
Don't be Serious, be Sincere !”

Yes, let’s be Sincere… about not wasting food and about not overeating. This will make our 2500 weekends more meaningful and enjoyable!

Cheerio